Circles

I close my eyes and I’m somewhere else. I’m sitting by a camp fire deep in the woods. All around me is a circle made up of people. Not just people, but monsters and demons. They’re all dancing as the circle goes round. I feel safe. I know all these souls. I’ve faced them and made peace with what’s happened. As they dance around me, they sing and chant; words I’ve heard a thousand times.

They’re all I can hear. I gaze at the fire and I feel warm and content as they dance through the sides of my view.

Far away in the distance I can see a light. I know what it is. It’s the world of today and tomorrow. I can just make it out in the distance. But there’s so much noise and its so peaceful and warm here. I don’t want to leave the fire and my friends. Friends? Is that what they are? There was a time these faces scared me more than anything. But anymore, they’re the only faces I can see. The people I meet when my eyes are open just look like shapes and outlines. All they do is remind me of a hundred other faces I’ve already seen. Faces of people I’ve harmed and been hurt by. Faces I’ve already made peace with.

All I want to do is close my eyes and listen to the music; watch the devils dance around the fire.

I know their dance doesn’t lead anywhere but around. But anymore, that’s almost enough. I’ve yearned so long to find peace and warmth in the dark. And now that I’m here, all I can think is how hard it will be to get up and move forward.